Life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it. A job loss, a health scare, a relationship breakdown, or a natural disaster—when things unravel, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless. Your mind starts spinning, your body tenses, and suddenly you’re caught in a storm of stress and uncertainty.

But here’s the thing: while you can’t always control what happens, you can control how you respond. Resilience isn’t about denying our feelings or toughing it out—it’s about finding strength, clarity, and calm in the middle of the chaos.

Here are three evidence-based ways to stay grounded and strong when life gets tough.

Focus on your zone of control

When a crisis hits, our mind will often spiral into worst-case scenarios—What if I lose everything? What if things never get better? This response stems from our mind’s primal survival-based conditioning – designed to help anticipate threats. The problem is, focusing on what you can’t control only fuels stress, overwhelm and anxiety.

One of the most helpful and empowering things you can do in a crisis is to stay focused to what you can control. Checking emergency plans, securing the house, and ensuring supplies were stocked. This creates a sense of inner stability and helps you stay calm and effective under pressure.

In personal challenges, the same principle applies. You can’t control how others behave or what the future holds—but you can control your actions, words, and what you focus on.

Redirecting your energy toward actionable steps creates a sense of empowerment, mental clarity and calms the nervous system.

Try this: When your mind starts spinning with “what ifs,” make a list of three things you can control right now and take action on one of them.

Takeaway tip: When you feel powerless, focus on what’s within your control. Small, intentional actions help you feel calmer and more confident.

Find calm in the storm

Ever noticed how when you’re stressed, you’re more reactive, impulsive, and just not thinking straight? That’s because when emotions go high, logic goes low.

Here’s why: when you face a threat—whether it’s a conflict, or a sudden crisis—the amygdala (the part of your brain responsible for detecting danger) takes over. It triggers the “fight or flight” response, flooding your body with adrenaline and cortisol to prepare you to react quickly.

This response is useful if you’re running from a predator—but not so much when you’re trying to make rational decisions during a stressful event. When the amygdala takes charge, the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for problem-solving and rational thinking) essentially goes offline. That’s why you might find yourself snapping at someone, making poor decisions, or feeling completely overwhelmed when things get tense.

The key to reclaiming calm is down-regulating the nervous system—essentially signalling to your brain and body that you’re safe.

The fastest way to do this is through deep, mindful belly breathing. Slow, intentional breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system (your “rest and digest” mode), reducing cortisol levels and helping your rational thinking part of the brain come back online.

Try this: Place your hands on your belly. Then take a deep breath into your belly for a count of four and feel as your belly expands like a balloon, and exhale slowly for a count of six feeling the belly contract. Repeat five times. Slowing your movements—like walking mindfully or even sipping water slowly—can also help shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight to calm.

Takeaway tip: When you feel overwhelmed, remind yourself: When emotions go high, logic goes low. Pause, take five slow breaths, and give your thinking part of your brain time to catch up.

Take values-based action

In difficult times, it’s easy to slip into survival mode—reacting impulsively, withdrawing, or shutting down. But resilience involves acting with intention, clarity and purpose. Ask yourself: What matters most to me right now? What kind of person do I want to be in this situation?

Taking actions based on your values—whether it’s taking care of your wellbeing, helping others, or setting boundaries—creates a sense of clarity, purpose and stability, even when life feels chaotic.

Your values act like an internal compass. When you respond to challenges in a way that reflects who you are and what you stand for, you feel more grounded and empowered, no matter how turbulent the situation.

Try this: Write down your top five core values (e.g., honesty, compassion, courage). When you’re facing a tough situation, ask yourself: What action would reflect these values right now? Then take that step.

Takeaway tip: Let your values guide your decisions. When you align your actions with your core values, you’ll feel stronger and more in control.

Crises, challenges and changes are inevitable in life—but being overwhelmed or crushed by them isn’t. By focusing on your zone of control, finding calm in the storm, and taking values-based action, you can face life’s tough moments with strength and clarity. Resilience isn’t about avoiding hardship—it’s about learning how to rise through it.